You can just walk in. Nobody will approach you.

It's free and there is no ticket — Walk in. There is no desk to check in at and nobody takes your name at the door
Nobody will approach you — Unless you look like you want them to. If you do want to talk, say anything at all and you'll get a conversation
You don't have to look interested — Two minutes is a visit. So is coming in out of the rain and leaving again, and that happens every week
Children are fine — Loud ones too. The only real rule is not touching, and it is said kindly rather than sharply
Photographs — Yes, unless a sign says otherwise for that particular show. If one does, it is the artist's decision and not ours
Access — Step-free through the side door, which is nearer than it looks. Say if you need it opened and somebody comes round

There is a printed list — On the desk. Ask for it, take it away, and nobody records that you did
Nobody thinks anything of it — Asking the price is the most ordinary question in the building. It is asked far more often than anything is bought
Roughly what to expect — Works on paper from a few hundred, paintings from about two thousand. Replace those with your own range
"Price on application" — Isn't used here. If a work has a price it is on the list, and if it doesn't, the list says why
Sold works stay up — Marked with a dot, until the show closes. A red dot is not a reason to feel you've missed something
Nothing is held back — There is no better room and no private list. What is on the wall is what there is

Say so to whoever is there — That is the whole first step. It is not a negotiation and there is no performance to get through
What the artist gets — Half. It is published here because most galleries will not say, and you are entitled to know where your money goes
Payment over time — Three or six months, interest free, on anything above a threshold. Galleries all do this and almost none advertise it
When you take it — At the end of the show, because it stays on the wall until then. Delivery or collection, both arranged for you
If you change your mind — Before the show closes, in full, no reason needed. That is a policy rather than a favour
Buying from a distance — Photographs, dimensions, and a video of it on the wall in real light. Nobody is asked to buy from a phone screenshot

Unsolicited submissions are read — All of them, once, in a batch every few months. The reply is short and it is a real reply rather than silence
What gets looked at — Fifteen images and one paragraph. Not a website to explore, not a folder to download, and never a statement longer than the paragraph
What almost never works — Turning up with a portfolio unannounced. It is not rude, it just lands on the worst possible day about nine times in ten
The programme is set two years out — So a yes usually means a long wait. That is not a soft refusal and it is said plainly when it is one
What we're actually looking for — Work that needs a room. Plenty of very good work doesn't, and that is a fact about the room rather than about the work
If it's a no — You'll be told, without a lecture attached. Nobody here believes a rejection is also a teaching opportunity